The image of “Octomom” Nadya Suleman’s pregnant gut will haunt me for three lifetimes.

Babies aren’t supposed to be crammed in there like that. The skin on her stomach looks identical to a male’s scrotum skin when it’s been pulled tight around a testicle.

After disappearing from the media spotlight for quite some time, Suleman has reemerged on the internet with some surprisingly-decent bikini photos. Decent to the untrained eye.

If you didn’t know the woman in these pictures was Octomom, you’d probably think to yourself, “Damn, look at those titties. I could spill some semen in her vagina, for sure.” Guess what? So could twelve other guys and a horse at the same time.

I hold master’s degrees in graphic design and dermatology — those pictures above are more heavily Photoshopped than the pictures of your dick you send to girls on Myspace.

The same people that did the special effects in Lord of the Rings also edited these pictures.

This is what Nadya Suleman’s photos looked like before they were airbrushed:

Some of you would probably still tap that. Not everyone can have sex without paying for it or settling for the first moist hole they find that doesn’t have a centipede living in it.

Do people even exercise anymore, or do they just improve their Photoshop skills when they want to lose weight? “I look hot in this picture after blending my three chins together.”

Quality Comments: There ain’t none yet!

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