Tennessee is about to vote for a new governor, and this election’s underdog Basil Marceaux is the man to keep your eye on. A self-proclaimed “people person,” Marceaux has a way with words that just might convince the people of Tennessee to vote for him.

Bill Marceaux is not only an accomplished speaker, but a prolific writer as well. Here are some examples of his ability to turn the English vocabulary into a beautiful literary art.

“Citizens who get food stamp and S/S check can not afford to buy where food now can they afford to pay Insurance we would need to find a way to pay the insurance for them.”

“My friends a beer stores say they check 200 D/L a day that 400 minutes a day per clerk which is over 6 hours at $7.00 a hour that $42.00, with it mandatory then we must pay them.”

” I believe we must hate the U.S. Flag because we fly the wrong one and when we fly the right one we and the government fly it wrong. Can we start honoring the flag Again.”

“Education ,let us put phonics back in school if you can not read you can not do History, Math, English. And that where we are now. Let make it mandatory in high school to read the minutes to the U.S. Congress, the Congressional Globe the real history of the U.S.”

Despite all of the awesomeness above, I don’t recommend voting for Marceaux until I verify that he is pro-medical marijuana, abortion, and gay marriage.

You can read more about Basil Marceaux and his goals as governor HERE!

Too many politicians and attorney generals have been complaining about Craigslist’s “Erotic Services” classified ad section. They say call it an online whorehouse. They say it’s a playground for perverts, rapists and murderers. I say, “Perverts? Yes. But we do NOT all rape and murder people. We just masturbate a lot.”

You can find anything on Erotic Services. How about a platonic cuddle session with a hairy man dressed in a banana costume? Want to make some money simply by rubbing ointment on the ass blisters of a lonely widow? At Craigslist, anything’s possible. And it’s usually safe.

There are exceptions, of course. For instance, Philip Markoff set up erotic appointments over Craigslist with women in the Boston area, and then robbed them at gunpoint. He also murdered his second victim, earning him the nickname “The Craigslist Douchebag Killer.”

Thanks for ruining Craigslist, dick!

All it takes is one lousy murder, and everybody starts freaking out like they’re next. Craigslist has recently began feeling the pressure to start moderating ads that are sexual. You see, while they don’t promote sexual solicitation on the site, they technically allow it. So last night, rather than shutting down their Erotic Services ad section, Craigslist replaced it with the similar-sounding “Adult Services.”

Here’s the difference between the old Erotic Services and the new Adult Services:

Ten bucks for a censored ad? Psh! The addition of moderators will only ensure that the new ads will be even more cryptic. For instance, an older ad for a blowjob was FREE, and it would say something like, “…Looking for a nice girl to suck me,” but you can’t do that anymore. Now, you have to pay $10 and say something cryptic like, “Looking to have a sandwich in the park with a giraffe.” That’s the new undercover Craigslist slang for a blowjob.

And does any of this make me any safer at the end of the day? Nope, it doesn’t because either way, I’m going to have that sandwich in the park with a giraffe.