There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned high school prank. Unfortunately, people don’t like pranks anymore — they’re too concerned about “someone getting hurt” or “costly repairs” or “animal cruelty.” The best pranks rarely go unpunished these days.

For example, I know this kid who hated his math teacher so much that he broke into her house one night and took a giant shit in her refrigerator. A week later, the kid got cancer.

TEXAS — Five Houston-area high school seniors are in trouble after an innocent prank was taken a little too seriously during a class photo.

Over 600 seniors gathered in front of the camera for their class photo last week at Cypress Ridge High School. In the front row, select students wore t-shirts with letters on them that spelled “CLASS OF 2010″ when side-by-side.

After the first photo was taken, the students were allowed to rearrange themselves for the informal panoramic shot. During this time, the two students wearing the letters “C” and “L” dispersed into the crowd, leaving only “ASS OF 2010″ — but nobody noticed.

School administrators were furious when they saw the photo. The three “ASS” students in front were suspended for three days and fined $135 each. They also lost their positions as officers for various clubs. The “C” and “L” students were not suspended, but also received a fine. The money will go towards editing the panoramic photo and fixing the spelling error.

It wasn’t just the administrators that disapproved of the prank. Raymond Carrigan, one of the seniors present during the prank said changing “class” to “ass” was “ignorant.”

Ignorant? Disrespectful, maybe — but realizing that you can form a naughty word out of a regular word just by switching some letters is fucking genius.

How’s this for ignorant, Ray? I found a Facebook picture of you and added a giant ignorant penis on there and it’s about to poke you in the face. Let that be a lesson to you!

The irony: Three students were essentially suspended for making the class photo vulgar, but at least fifty other male students got away with displaying “The Shocker,” which is a hand gesture relating to the sexual act of inserting three fingers into a female’s butt-gina.

I’d also like to mention that Cypress Ridge is probably overpaying to have their class photo edited. Sidecarsally Photofuck Plus offers free editing services for family, wedding, and class photos. Earlier this year, I handled a similar problem for the Delta Gamma sorority after the entire front row forgot to wear their letters.

Sources: 1, 2

Quality Comments: There ain’t none yet!

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COLUMBUS, OH — Linda Brown from Ohio knows how to pull a good prank on people, even if it gets her arrested. I might go as far as to consider her one of my heroes.

All was quiet last Tuesday at the Burlington Coat Factory store in Columbus — That is, until Linda Brown pulled up in a stretch Hummer limo outside, exclaiming loudly that she won the lottery. She ran into the coat store and announced again that she had just won $1.5 million and was going to pay for everyone’s purchases (up to $500).

Brown sits in the back of a police cruiser, still amused by her hilarious prank.

Within minutes, word had gotten out that “Linda Brown was gonna buy you a new coat.” Hundreds of shoppers flooded the store, expecting free merchandise.

Shopper Candace Jordan said she told Brown she didn’t need clothes, she needed help paying her rent. “And she said, ‘How much is it?’” Jordan told WBNS-TV. “And she promptly wrote out a check.” [1]

Unfortunately, that check would bounce several days later because (big surprise here) Linda Brown didn’t win the lottery, she’s just crazy.

By the time anyone realized that Brown was lying, she had already left in the limo.

Dozens of police officers were called to the scene after shoppers — furious about the hoax — began rioting, looting, and trashing the store. The aftermath looked like Hurricane COATrina had struck. Get it? COAT-TRINA.

“Please go home unless you came here with some money!”

When the limo driver realized that he wasn’t getting paid for driving Brown around, he turned her over to the police, who were still trying to control the rioting and looting.

Brown was arrested on three outstanding warrants for aggravated menacing, misuse of a 911 system and causing false alarms. She was jailed late Wednesday because of her outstanding warrants, but police aren’t going to file charges against her for the coat store chaos until she undergoes a mental health evaluation.

Police said they have no way of tracking down the customers who stole items and fled, but they’re reviewing surveillance video. [1]

It’s the shoppers at the store that day who should be ashamed — not Linda Brown. “We still want our free shit, so we’re just gonna fuck this place up and steal everything?’” This is exactly why the rest of the world hates Ohio.

Maybe I’d participate in the chaos if this were to happen at a diamond store, but I wouldn’t risk going to jail for destroying a place and stealing a fuckin’ coat. Ohio, the humanity!

Sources:1

Quality Comments:
“This cancels out 5 stupid things Florida has done.” — Ashley

“If that lady needed help with her rent, then what the hell was she doing in the coat store in the first place? Poor money management, if you ask me.” — Stuart

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